Meeting My New Oncologist

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Current mood: Emotionally drained

Well today I had an appointment to meet with my new oncologist. It's been hard since moving to NYC to find new doctors.

I hate having to relive everything. It's weird sometimes I can talk about my cancercrapness journey and not get emotional and other times I cry. I hate crying in front of the doctors, I feel like it makes me look weak. Then of course the doctor wants to make sure you are OK and asks if you have a good support group and if your family is supportive. Yes, Yes and Yes! "Enough already!" is what I want to say.

She wants to do blood work to check to see my Estrogen levels. My cancer was ER/PR and HER2 positive so I guess that makes sense. I have to admit I'm a little scared. Anytime they do blood work I get nervous, just hoping they don't find anything "new" shall we say.

We also discussed having my port removed. I have mixed emotions on that one. A part of me wants my port to stay because I know in the future with tests and everything someone will need to get blood from me and that alone can be a procedure. I have a lovely scar on my arm to remind me of that. On the other hand having my port taken out gets me closer to the end of my cancercrapness journey. That has a nice sound to it.

There is a line in the Livestrong manifesto that I love...It reads, Cancer may leave your body, but it never leaves your life. How true is that?