Sunday, September 29, 2024

Coming Full Circle

Date:  September 29, 2024

Current mood:  Elated

 

Do you ever believe that things happen at certain times for a reason or certain people come into your life just at the right time.  Well that’s kinda what has happened to me recently.

So those of you closest to me will know that while I fought my breast cancer there were certain things I just didn’t care about right, losing my hair for example.  I embraced being bald.  Now that doesn’t mean I enjoyed the constant stares from people who just didn’t know any better.  Or didn’t have a complete melt down when all my hair was at the bottom of the drain in the shower.  Another thing I didn’t care about at the time was completing my reconstruction.  I knew after talking to one of my closest cancer friends Cathy about nipples that I did not want to have that done.  See if you have that done, then your “headlight” will always be on.  No one ever tells you that fun fact so thank you Cathy for sharing your story and being so open and honest with me.  I also chose not to have my areolas tattooed as well.  I think I was just over everything.  I was exhausted both physically and mentally and just didn’t care at the time.  I wasn’t dating anyone and the thought of dating anyone scared the shit out of me, like who’s gonna want this girl with no nipples or areolas. 

Fast forward to today and then we’ll take a journey down memory lane.

First today…  So this girl has decided to give in to all her friends that want her to find someone and be happy, so I decided to go back online and torture myself with online dating.  Now I have dated previously from match which is where my longest past relationship came from but also where my douche bag guy came from as well, the one who did the most psychological damage.  I believe I have already blogged about him, see post titled, Simply DB, LOL!

Memory lane…  I have found that most guys and my longest last relationship tended to shy away from the breast area.  Maybe they thought they were going to hurt me.  Well not physically but it did emotionally, it just made me feel like I wasn’t wanted or wasn’t a complete woman.  I know before you say anything …  It’s how I felt. 

So back to today…  So the first guy I met online was very sweet when I told him about my BC.  His exact words were "educate me", tell me all about your story.  He seemed to really care.  And when we decided to become intimate he is probably the first guy since my BC that has made me feel good about myself.  He never hesitated to touch my breasts and it was perfect.

I have also met someone from online dating who has become I feel like a really good friend.  I shared my story with him and I shared how I never finished my reconstruction.  We talked about what I had mentioned earlier about how I was just done at the time.  Well it’s funny cause at my next gynecologist appointment my Dr tells me that one of the Drs in the office has now been trained to do 3D areola tattooing and asked if I would be interested.  I was like OMG, I just had this conversation with someone.  I took the information and reached out the Dr. 

We will call her Dr B.  I spoke to Dr B and she told me she herself is a BC survivor and she wanted to be able to give back and she wanted it to be something that would make patients feel good about themselves and what better way then to see them complete their journey.  I love her!!!!

I went to her website and looked at the pictures of the 3D tattooing was simply blown away at how realistic they looked.  I cried!  It’s what I want and I believe it’s going to help me feel better about myself as well.  Who knew 17 years later I would be completing my journey.  I have made my appointment for November 17, the day after my Mammoth March.  I wanted to be done with bike training and hiking training so I could take the time off to heal properly.  I have never been so excited about something in a really long time.  I also wanted to share the text Dr B sent me after I sent her a picture of my breasts which she had asked for so she could prepare for my visit with some ideas.

Hi Jill!  Thank you sending the picture.  Your scars healed beautifully!  I can’t wait to tattoo some beautiful 3D areolas and nipples for you.  It’s going to look amazing!  (heart emoji)  - Dr B

I cannot wait Dr B!

 

Thursday, July 25, 2024

Once again the youngest patient in the waiting room


Date:  July 25, 2024

Current Mood:  A little concerned

Not sure where to start with this blog.  Gosh, I haven’t blogged in a lonnnng time…

Well let's start off by saying it's happened again.  I find myself once again being the youngest patient in the waiting room of my new cardiologist.  I'm too young to have cardiologist!

Well here goes…

So I’m turning 53 this year, on September 12th and I know it’s not a milestone birthday per say but for me It’s kind of a big deal.  See my Mom was 53 when she passed away and my Dad was 53 when he had his heart attack. 

Now for those of you closest to me and know how my Mom passed, you know I’m not worried about that but I am worried about my Dad’s health history side.

As you know I’ve recently had hip replacement surgeries and have gotten myself back in shape which makes me extremely happy.  It’s not just about the weight it’s about being back on my bike and enjoying something that makes me overall happy.  I love challenging myself and pushing myself to be better.

So prior to my second hip replacement surgery, I had to go for a pre-op physical, why I didn’t for the first hip I don’t know.  My primary Dr did not have any open appointments so I had to see another Dr in the office.  I wasn’t a fan, he seemed cocky.  He had two medical students with him so maybe he was showing off but that’s a whole different conversation but needed information on how I felt at the time.  He asked if I had a heart murmur.  I was like, no.  I did tell him, I had one when I was little but the Dr back then had told my Mom that I had “out grown” it.  Back to the present, so this Dr told me it would not affect him signing off on my prep-op physical but that I should follow up with my Dr in the future.  I filed it in in the back of my mind and was like sure. 

So after my hip surgery, my swelling was out of control and one night while getting up to go to the bathroom I noticed that my leg below the knee was bruising.  I had not experienced that with my other hip.  I had almost passed out in the bathroom and my first thought was I had a blood clot.  So I ended up in the emergency room and later admitted.   I won’t go into too much about this because it doesn’t have to do with the blog but I will tell you I did not have a blood clot.  It was just post-op swelling that was causing the bruising.  But what I will tell you is that the Dr that was on my floor did mention hearing a slight murmur when he took my vitals on his rounds.  Interesting I thought, I never mentioned to anyone in the hospital that I had been recently diagnosed with a heart murmur, so now two doctors have heard this murmur.  Now I’m getting a little concerned.

After being released from the hospital and weeks of rehabbing the hip, I’m off on the bike again.  Pushing myself every ride and getting stronger.  I completed my first metric century and was super proud of myself.  I look at my overall average pace and heart rate, those number looked great for where I was in my recovery.  But in the back of my mind was that conversation about following up with my primary Dr about my new found heart murmur.  Of course once again he is booked out for months so I decided to see the Dr I saw when I had my shingles outbreak, I really liked her.  So I go for the appointment and the PA can’t hear the heart murmur and neither can the Dr.  I told her about my experience with the other Dr in their office and said I really wouldn’t be concerned, however the Dr at the hospital heard it as well.  She ordered me to have an echocardiogram.  The echocardiogram comes back somewhat normal.  My mitral valve has slight regurgitation, but overall nothing too alarming.  Still I wanted to see a Cardiologist to have them tell me I was OK.  So off to the Cardiologist I go. 

Now prior to this visit my head is of course spinning.  What could cause this valve issue?  Is the valve issue what’s causing the murmur?  Then of course my mind goes back to my cancer days, cause all that chemo that was pumped through me wasn’t exactly healthy.  I remember one of the drugs called Herceptin.  Prior to starting, at the mid-way point and end of treatment, I was sent for a MUGA scan because Herceptin can damage the heart.  Just to put it in perspective, I had Herceptin every 3 weeks for an entire year starting at the same time I was given another chemo drug Taxol.  Could this be the cause of my heart murmur/mitral valve slight regurgitation?

So I meet the Cardiologist and love him.  He’s probably my age and an avid cyclist too so we talk local trails and stuff.   Then we get to why I’m there.  He reviews the echocardiogram and asks me some questions about tightness in my chest or shortness of breath.  Nope, I have not experienced any of that.  I tell him about the two different times the Drs heard the heart murmur and the one time the Dr did not.  He said, let’s take a listen and jokingly said I bet you don’t even have a heart murmur.  He places the stethoscope on my chest and within a millisecond says, nope you got a murmur.  Fabulous!  Now what?  He told me it is a benign heart murmur.  So he’s all set to release me when he asks, any heart problems in your family.  Well… my Dad did have a heart attack at what will be my age this year.  Well that changes everything now he says.  He tells me that a stress test wouldn’t work on me because my bike rides/workouts are stronger than a stress test and if I’m not having symptoms then there was no point in taking one.  He did order another echocardiogram but wanted “his” guy to do it and ordered an angiocardiogram which looks at the arteries for any blockage.  That kind of made me feel good cause I’m not going to lie every time I would get on my bike and push myself in the back of my mind I was like is this too much am I going to die on this trail.  I know so melodramatic but at some level these thoughts were very true.  So my angiocardiogram comes back clean, no calcium build up in any of the arteries.  Great News! 

So now I ask about my low resting heart rate at night.  My apple watch sent me an alert the other morning that my heart rate got as low as 35.  Now that has me concerned.  So off to see another cardiologist who specializes in Electrophysiology, so basically the electrical Dr to make sure I’m firing on all cylinders.  So fast forward to his appointment where I get an ECG right in the office and he diagnosis me with an irregular heartbeat.  He calls it sinus arrhythmia with vagal tone, which means it’s the vagus nerve not doing it jobs properly.  Also I have what is called an incomplete right bundle branch block which sounds bad but it is actually good meaning right bundle branch block (RBBB) can cause an irregular heartbeat, or arrhythmia, when the electrical signal traveling down the right bundle branch of the heart is delayed or blocked. This causes the right ventricle to contract later than the left, and the ventricles to beat out of sync; Unlike complete right bundle branch block, incomplete right bundle branch block doesn't increase your risk of heart attack and death.  

So now the next step is to wear a heart rate monitor 24/7 for 10 days.  I'm good with that because that will not only capture my resting heart rate at night but also give me a chance to have some workouts/bike rides in there too for the Dr to analyze.  Another words am I pushing myself too hard, do I recover well after my workouts etc.

So in the 10 days of having my heart rate monitor I have talked to one of my dearest fellow BC cancer survivors and she asked me about Adriamycin and I was like I didn't' know Adriamycin caused heart problems I thought it was just the Herceptin.  So now I go down a dark rabbit hole and find out that women whose chemo treatment consisted of both drugs are causing a higher risk of heart damage.  Fabulous!  They talk about cardiomyopathy, which is damage to the heart muscle.  Now I don't know how you test for that but that is going to be my next follow up question for the Dr.  It also mentions arrhythmia so now that leads me to, is this new found issue from cycling too much, past chemo or a combination of the two.  

See the Dr on Monday, July 29th and will continue to update...

So the conclusion is...

Saw the Dr on July 29th and I came to that appointment with my i's dotted and my t's crossed.  I did my research, knew my questions and wasn't leaving until I felt I had covered everything.

Here's is the link to the article that intrigued me the most about possible chemo treatment side affects.  

https://www.fredhutch.org/en/news/releases/2022/04/major-study-links-breast-cancer-treatment-with-increased-risk-of.html

So my vitals in the office were BP:  118/66, oxygen was at 100% and my resting heart rate was 44.  Never had my bottom number on my BP so low before but the PA didn't seem concerned since my resting heart rate was 44 at the time.  

Now the Dr comes in and we discuss my sleep study first; no signs of sleep apnea.  He did say that I snore.  OK, no big deal.  Next we talk about my heart rate monitor and I am curious to see how accurate my apple watch data is compared to the heart rate monitor.  I did get one notice that my heart rate dropped below 40 from my watch while having the heart rate monitor and I asked the Dr if there was any data that showed the same and he said yes and told me the date and time and yes it matched my apple watch which made me happy, meaning my watch is accurate.  

I ask him about the heart muscle and how you can tell if there is damage and I talk to him about the chemo treatment drugs I had and what the study said and asked about my ejection fraction which is something the articles speaks about as well.  He said there is test that can look at the heart muscle but since my ejection fraction was 71% that I need not worry.  The normal ejection fraction for a healthy person is between 50 and 70%. 

So now my questions about cycling and am I doing too much.  He said no such thing, cycling is very good for the heart.  

We discuss my plan to see him in a year to run another echocardiogram and see if anything has changed.  

All good news!!!

Now I can reclaim my life again and not worry anymore; cancer and side affects ain't got nothing on me!!!