I can only handle one tumor at a time

Monday, January 28, 2007


Current Mood: Disbelief


Say it isn't true! Today seemed to be like a page out of history...

It all started over the summer when I found a lump on Maddy's leg. I had so much on my plate at the time. I was going through chemo and had my good days and bad days. Of course the first thing I thought of was NO, she can't have a tumor too. It better not be cancer! I can't deal with losing my best friend. This is the dog that has been with me through all the rough times. Losing my Mom. Losing my Grandma. She's been with me through my cancer crapness. This dog has licked away so many tears her sodium level must be through the roof. I decided to just keep an eye on the tumor to make sure it didn't get any bigger. I have to admit, I forgot about it. I checked it the other day and I think it has gotten bigger. Instead of panicking, I decided to make the call to the vet. I love Dr. F., he is so good with Maddy and you can tell he is a real animal lover and I think Maddy likes him too. He checked Maddy out and then looked at her leg. This is when the story begins to sound all too familar.

Dr. F. told me that the tumor felt soft and moveable and that was a good sign, meaning he didn't think it was cancer. Hmmmm sounds like what my gynecologist told me when she felt my lump/tumor. Dr. F. took a sample and looked at it under the microscope. He told me there were fatty cells, which was a good sign. He said he was concerned about the location of the tumor and the fact that it was growing. He wanted to operate soon before the tumor got any bigger, so he would have plenty of margins. Hmmmmm sound familar, Dr. L. needed to get clean margins when she operated on me. It was all getting to be too much, I could feel my mind leaving the room. It quickly came back when I heard the word cancer. Dr. F. said he would remove the tumor and run tests to see if in fact it was cancer but he really believes it is just a cyst. Hmmmmm heard that before.

I'm trying to stay positive. Maddy's operation is scheduled for Wednesday, February 20. It's a good thing she doesn't understand what is happening cause I wouldn't want her to have those sleepless nights.