Thursday, April 24, 2014
current mood: still heartbroken
I can't believe it's been almost 9 months since my Maddy left me for her journey to the Rainbow Bridge.
I can honestly say there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss her.
Her 15th Birthday would be next month on May 7.
I've decided to take that day off from work and in honor of her birthday do something that we did together. I haven't completely decided what I would like to do but I have narrowed it down to either a walk and picnic in the park or a kayak ride down the Hillsborough River.
I used to love to bring her to the many parks in NYC. Whether is was Prospect Park by our place in Brooklyn, Riverside Park along the Hudson River or Central Park. I would pack up her portable water bowl and pack a lunch and head to the park. She loved people watching while I relaxed and caught up on my latest James Patterson novel.
And in her younger days she also loved to kayak with me back home in Connecticut. She loved our kayaking adventures at the Lake House. She just loved being with me and I loved being with her.
Maddy was truly the love of my life. My little Fur Angel. For more than 14 years she loved me unconditionally and I couldn't have asked for anything better than that.
Sure I've gone through the motions or steps of grieving her loss but it doesn't make it any easier. My apartment is still empty...I still look for her sleeping on the couch as I open my apartment door after a long day at work hoping to see her and having her greet me with her wagging tail.
I say goodnight to her every night as I look at her urn on my nightstand but still hoping to feel her at the bottom of my bed as I get under the covers.
She's left a void in my life that's for sure. And even as I write this I'm looking through blurred eyes from the tears that are welling up.
I just hope my Maddy is happy at the Rainbow Bridge. I can only hope that she has met the dogs and cats that belong to the owners in my Pet Loss Support Group.
And I hope she misses me as much as I miss her...
Happy Birthday Maddy!